I remember being in a masterclass in my early 20’s. A concert pianist was visiting and running these public classes for students. I felt like I was under the spotlight. All eyes were on me as I performed. My teacher had been encouraging me not to hold back and give it my all. I was a reasonably quiet personality and I guess my playing tended to reflect that. I didn’t like being the centre of attention, so, let’s just say, I tended to play with careful restraint. Generally speaking, I didn’t just let loose and allow the music to flood my entire being to the extent that I didn’t care what people thought of my musicianship. In fact, I recall worrying about what people might think of my playing in such a public arena where there were so many ‘experts’.
So, I performed my piece and there was plenty of positive feedback. Do you think I can remember any of those positive comments now? Of course not. Our brains somehow love to focus on the not so positive. There was one comment this concert pianist made that made me sink back into my myself and want the ground to swallow me up, there and then. He said, very offhandedly, I needed to be careful of not becoming a “thumper”!!! In the world of classical piano this is definitely not a compliment! However, my teacher was thrilled, believe it or not, because at least I had made a shift from my dainty, almost lifeless playing, to giving it a red hot go. I was learning. It was as simple as that. It was a teaching moment but I would have preferred to learn that lesson much less publicly, as it affected me for a very long time. I made a decision that that performance just wasn’t good enough therefore perhaps I wasn’t good enough! I associated my performance with who I was.
What crap we tell ourselves.
What silly stories we make up in our minds as a result of other people’s thoughtless words. We can use these experiences to prove to ourselves that we just aren’t as good as the next person. We collect all of the evidence that supports that story. No-one should ever have the audacity to make that decision on your behalf. If they do you have my permission to tell them where to go.
What story are you believing that is a result of what someone may have said to you in the past? Is it time to release that to the Gods and let them deal with it now. I think so. It’s holding you back from living freely. You don’t need the encumbrance of other people’s opinions about you and your worth. You get to decide that and only you.
Are you thinking you would like to return to music? Do you want to play just so you have something to do for yourself? You’re not interested in being on the world stage, are you? You would just like to sit down each day and experience playing as a form of relaxation and creativity. A space in your day that is just for you. Why not book into one of my next Free “Reignite Your LOVE Affair with the Piano” Introductory Sessions.
Just email firstname.lastname@example.org with your best contact number and I will be in touch with all the details.