Have you ever noticed that sometimes one sentence said to us can cause unintentional hurt and a lifetime of belief that we are not good enough in a certain area? It doesn’t have to be said angrily or even jeeringly or harshly. It can be a passing comment unintended to cause harm at all but our brain can interpret it as a reflection of us. A part of ourselves may in turn become frozen in time

For example, have you ever been told that you can’t sing? Singing is probably one of the most personal ways we can express ourselves. When we sing, we can be leaving ourselves open to all sorts of comments and pre-conceived ideas of perfection from those around us.

Just one comment meant as a joke may cause us to clam up and never open our mouths to sing again except, perhaps, in the shower!

I am not a trained singer although I have had some singing lessons. However, I love to sing. I recall travelling with a friend doing some volunteer work at Bellinter House in Bellinter, Ireland many years ago. I worked in a guest house serving food, cleaning and a few odd jobs in exchange for board and the use of a car to travel around.

One evening my friend and I were invited for dinner by one of the workers there. Afterwards, in true Irish style, there was a sing-a-long around their beautiful 100-year-old mahogany upright piano. I will never forget the host joking about our singing voices. I don’t even know if she was referring to me but of course, I took it that way and developed a pretty solid belief that I just didn’t have a good voice. It was very hurtful as when our voices are criticised our very right to exist is challenged as our voice is generally the vehicle we use to communicate who we are. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I wasn’t good enough I even felt ‘unmusical’ even though I had studied music for years.

How could she be so rude!!!

Yes. I could put all the blame on her for making me feel that way. At the end of the day, though, I needed to take responsibility for interpreting the comment the way I did.

As I said, I don’t even know if she was directly talking about me or everyone that was singing at the time.

And even if she was maybe I just didn’t know the song and needed a bit of practise before launching into it.

Maybe she didn’t even mean it and, in fact, was actually just joking!!!

I could make up all sorts of stories about this moment when I just wanted to ground to swallow me up.

I could also say it‘s time to dissolve that part of me that was frozen in time that day. Frozen and horrified that I may have sung a couple of notes off pitch. Who knows if I did or didn’t. I was 27 years old! It’s a long time ago.

Is it time for you to let go a similar experience?

Is it time to dissolve the intense emotion around it today?


Is it time to stop allocating superiority to other people’s opinions? After all, you really are just as good as them.

Is it time to completely let those thoughts of being ‘less than’ go for good?

Of course, it is. The beliefs you developed as a result of an experience like this aren’t worth carrying to your grave are they?

Lighten up now.

Let go of the story.

Life is for living joyfully and freely.

Come join me and let’s start over, afresh with a new system and methodology that doesn’t judge but enhances your natural musical ability.

Email joanne@rhythmandtunes.com.au with your best contact number and I will be in touch!

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